“That’s it then? I got the Pepsi machine going again and now I’m out? OK, OK, so where’s me big brown envelope then. I’ve done two weeks, you know.”
Alas, the consistently deep waters of The Organisation close in again. “This disturbance is over”, they seem to say, and “here’s your P45”.
Now Mr Anonymous has career in BBC news then ten years overseeing opera. You see, he’s worked away from The Organisation so he has experience of the real World. Not like The Plumber, who, of course, was just a pleb of the real World without the necessary grooming, panache and associations or contacts. Without the chains of responsibility, of command, of sensitivity REQUIRED, sorry, did I raise my voice, required to Work in The Organisation. (Yes, that’s “function correctly”.)
“Change? But we already are perfect – why should we need to change? Savillegate? Oh, but that’s SO last week – that was the Previous DeeGee, don’t you know? Even before we got The Plumber in. Look, we’ve got so many important issues to deal with, now.
“Our David’s got to have our Fullest Support in trashing those Blasted Europeans and we must work to put down those Awful Arabs and then we Really Need to see to a new series of “I cook Fairy Cakes in the Meadow” – who should be the hostess?”
Turns out, with settling dust revealing further details, that Lord Hall-Hall will take up his posting at Easter, new tax year, time enough for the Plumber to sweep all the mess under the carpet as he sacks a few more operatives and pays off a few more disgruntled BBC-losers from the slush fund in that drawer in his office, conveniently placed next to the pile of big brown envelopes.
Actually it’s a useful new element to the profitable career path when you apply for internal promotion (I know that sounds like something you get in a private hospital) but fail to achieve the appointment so “cannot possibly stay on” and are rewarded with copious salary multiples as the post is merged with that of deputy assistant janitor. Yeah, there was no real job there all along and always we were paying for no good reason at all.
Fantasy land. Emperor’s new clothes scenarios. 500 “Senior managers” are covered by private health insurance and The Organization thinks it’s got popular grounding and support. They are a bunch of elitist scroungers and use their stranglehold on backroom, unassailable decision making to reinforce this.
Anyway, Lord Hall-Hall will begin broadcasting from behind such enemy lines early next year. Look forward to lies and distortions of ever increasingly unbelievable nature. It is rumored that Katherine Jenkins is to be brought in to work alongside Jeremy Paxman to give Newsnight a less strident approach and East Enders is to be moved to Covent Garden.
But, otherwise, they will work to steer a straight path direct to their ultimate oblivion. By their own actions and omissions the BBC have rendered themselves irrelevant to the newly emergent reality. “Do as I say not do as I do” cannot be hidden in 24/7/365 living. They are a vestige of pre-War Britain and will now finally succumb. Possibly like Hong-Kong! Now that would be ironic, wouldn’t it, Chris?